crohns meets christmas meals!!!

We all know it. we all say it. But when it comes down to it us crohnies cant help sometimes but to indulge in some good ol' nasty food!! yes you know what im talking about and we are all guilty of it at least a few times! So yesterday after opening gifts I should have headed home made a soup. damn anything but no I want to kids to enjoy this day and we head with the family to a buffet, feeding our family is a job theres just too many soo this is my moms answer to it! Who doesnt love a buffet righttt. I know I do in my pre crohnie days I coulda put away the whole thing and then some I could eat. But those thoughts of what I use to do get me in trouble! I was good well as about as good as a hog in a fresh mud pile, if you get what im saying. we waited in for what seemed like forever. come on guys we come there every holiday a party of 13 this time not that many we could have brought everyone.  so here we are at the table the kids excited to eat and hurry up to get sweets. Me and hubs go to get the kids plates while he is just worried about finding things they will eat( which isnt hard our kids have grown up around a lot of food diversity, and can put away some veggies) I am looking around finding foods I can eat. as soon as we give the kiddos there plates its on. bad momma is out and im coming for the food not thinking clealry at all about the fact that I am in a crohns flare or that I should eat but a small plate I fill up my plate not once not twice but three times, this all in less than 30 minutes. I enjoyed every bite and wills tick with that story. then can time to survey the sweets well the kids were having some soo why not righttt. big mistake i got a piece of carrot cake i remember eating that vividly because I was in shock at how good it was. Im a foodie so finding a gem like that it amazing. soon after I must have givin hubs that look. You know that look like omg I gotta poop/ fart ect. because he asked are you gunna fart. i told him flat out noo I gotta poop got up and walked across the resturant to the bathroom. I did this camly although i wanted to run like mad. So here I am waiting for a stall in soo much pain and finally one opens up and my nerves about going in public are gone because well this is the first time ever in public i walk into a bathroom and everyone is going poop. I didnt hold it back at all I was at ease. then I realized the other coughing and hurrying out fast! OMG really people I have crohns its ok for your stink to be in here but damn mine is too much really??!!!  Ok well I will admit I am bleeding and you know that rotting flesh smell you can sometimes get with having an attack is was quite bad. but at this point I cant stop so I sit there and finish up while mothers who bring in there kids hurry them up. I heard a poor little girl ask her mother what died i felt soo bad but again its not my fault. as I walk out I notice my family waiting at the exit and I am relieved not to have to sit there any longer. I get to leave!!!! Im not sure if they were done or if they knew what was going on but I was sooo happy!! I got my sweater and purse from my mom and took off out the door! by the time was made it home here I am in pain and feeling starved SOOO because I didnt get my heavenly hash on thanksgiving I made a small plate of it and took a couple bites before feeding the rest to thing two. my baby girl is my helper when it comes to getting my food away from me she is my go to girl! i spent the rest of my time at my parents laying in bed wishing I didnt eat. And wondering if maybe I could handle a salad. I know bad thoughts but I am only human and a salad sounds good. everyone else ate one but hubs, he wanted to but got lost in the sea of food while there. now here I am today feeling worse than the last few days. i know cleaning should be done but I am couch ridden. Every so often thing one comes up and ask me mommy are you ok??? with a big hug and as soon as I say I am he sighs and says yeah right liar. mind you he is 3 but he knows mommy is sick and he trys to take care of me. thing two likes to come up and kiss my forehead before saying she needs my blanket. all morning we have played this game where I give her my blanket thing one takes it from her covers me back up tucks me in and then he tells her she is bad. She dont care she does an evil laugh and comes back to get the blanket.