are you there ashaley, It's me your colon

Well we all go through it , most of the time without warning all of a sudden the pain hits then sweats your heart is racing you are rushing to go find the closest bathroom hoping if in public that no one will be in there. Your hurting its coming and you can not stop it. There is fear anger worry and nothing you can do but hope you make it there in time. Its shameful and you feel less of a human for it. But it happens to all of us crohnies. That sudden urge to go that you can not hold back. No matter what you do how you eat, rest, take your meds whatever you may do to help your crohns we all get those gotta go moments. As I am writing this I am currently in my bathroom which I had got up and rushed to as if i were a trained running jumping over some toys and by passing my son asking if I was ok to get the relief of sitting down and letting out a sigh knowing I made it in time! Most of us hide this we try to stay home s much as we can and avoid all things public ( just in case ). It is a matter of life with crohns no matter what you do at times it will happen. That is a point that we all must realize and eventully get past in time. I can recall countless times ive been in public or at someones house trying to avoid it and hoping no one would notice what was going on. Ive gotten rude remarks in public from strangers in a bathroom who had no idea I had crohns and that nasty smell I couldnt help or avoid. Its not a part of my life like it or not it is a part of me. for awhile i tried to figure out a way to stop it. even more than public I hated waking up half asleep in the midle of the night trying to make it to the bathroom. but then again my bathroom is my friend I can sit in there as long as I want I have my books and magazines. I have read every label in there on all the products that are even close to the pot. it doesnt matter if im in there 5 minutes or 5 hours. It is my safe place and I can have a little piece of serenity even it if is just a bathroom to most. to me it is freedom not to worry about how it smells how long im in ect. if anyone in my home has a problem with it oh well. well all need that. the one safe bathroom that we dont have to worry about being in. we all panic but in that panic we dont realize that theres little to do when it happens just go with it. Crohns is now a part of you and like it or not it is staying. I still get scared walking into a public bathroom but find humor when people rush out or make comments about the smell and or sounds.

soo what to do:
1. dont worry so much you can not help whats going on and some people wont understand dont worry about those people they dont matter

2.  do not harm yourself by trying to keep it in. or not eat because your afraid of going poop.

3. at home keep nice soft paper and wet wipes in your bathroom pamper your bottom after all it goes through alot

4. try breathing your way through the pain and panic attacks

5.  find your safe bathroom

Remeber when upset, alone depressed you are not alone! look for a support group, find a fellow crohnie online. go to fb blogs websites anything to ease your mind. Togather we are strong!

ER DOCTORS vs. CROHNS

ok soo a couple nights ago I wake up with a feeling of a severe sinus infection. for most it isnt a big deal I knew otherwise i went and took some meds. sat in the hot shower hoping the steam would help but the pain was already unbearable. I was puking and couldnt even keep a sip of water down. this started at 3 am. skip to 5am, i am losing vision in my right eye and know I need to seek medical attention asap. so I woke up hubs who insisted I try to do what I can before going to the er, and let him know I couldnt wait anymore I needed to go now! so we loaded up the kids and he drove me to the closest one. I was taken back fast but he wasnt allowed back apparently the kids are not allowed in the er which is bs they would have been fine. the whole 30 minutes im back there he is freaking out asking about me and wanting to go back and see if im alright. ok before I go any further let me say I have a horrible immune system and with a normal immune system it would be such a freak out from either of us he usally has to drag me in screaming to the er. so i see the nurse then the dr comes in and lets me know he will not treat me because im pregnant. which please please keep yourself in the loop with the laws he refused to treat me which he can not do and told me to go home take some meds and rest. not happening after walking out barely able to see out of my right eye I throw the discharge papers and hubs and start cryin. I knew i needed help and was upset because i know how bad they get with me. so another 30 minute drive he called into work and we headed to the next er which had me in right away with 3 nurses no not cnt or cna but nurses who got me set up checked me out and within 15 minutes of being there the dr had came in and a i.v had been started he talked to me all of 5 minutes heard me tell him I had been through it before everytime i get a sinus infection got my history and got me set up within an hour i was on my way out of the door scripts in hand ready to go home and rest. this hospital and staff were amazing they didnt rush me along I kinda rushed them and they went with it they heard what I was saying and did what they could to help. the nurse herself even went and personally made hubs a cup of coffee. really a nurse she wasnt barking orders at the cnt to go do it. they were kind they did there job correctly. they let me rant about hospital a. and even were kind enough to keep checking on me during the iv. i wasnt treated like I didnt matter in fact this is the first hospital I was treated with soo much respect! I have been to way too many bad hospitals and this one blew me away I go see my o.b there but have never gone to there er it was the best by far

Lets talk poop!!

Oh yes finally a poop blog ive talked about writing one and put it off for far too long. lets face it with crohns poop tells you alot and you can tell alot about how you health is by it. For me just a glance I can tell how my crohns is acting if im bleeding if im backed up ect. to be honest most people dont give poop much credit after all its that nasty smelly leftovers of food that comes out of your butt. but like everything with our bodys it has a purpose and it is actully quit helpful in helping tell you how you body is doing. I know with my crohns poop is a big thing am I having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes, can I even leave the bathroom, am I stopped up, is there blood??? lets be honest we have all stared at what comes out most not giving it any thought at all think eww gross and hurrying out hoping we dont have to go again. but think how much about poop do you know??

Think about the color of your poop

• Brown:  any shade of brown is normal.
• White: can be a sign of pancreatitis or pancreatic cancer.
• Clay-colored: indicates a lack of bile in the stool which indicates gallbladder disease, cirrhosis, hepatitis or gallstones.
• Black:  may be indicative of bleeding in the esophagus or stomach.
• Green: can indicate Crohn’s disease. Green stool often indicates that food has passed through the intestines faster than normal.
• Bright Red poop may indicate bleeding in your rectum, lower gi tract and the presence of a polyp, diverticulosis or hemorrhoids.
• dont get all jumping by this info foods you eat can effect the color as well!

How food, supplements and medications affect poop color:

• Beets: dark red poop (not bright red)
• Carrots: orange colored poop
• Greens: dark green — brown poop
• Iron supplements: black poop
• Peptobysmol: black poop

Making you say hmm righttttt. well think how much easier life is when you pay attention to all aspects of your body. yes yes i am talking about looking at your poop.

Poop is one of thing that you can rely on well kinda everyone poops and if your not pooping you need help take a laxative and sit back and learn a little about you bady and poop us crohnies seem to have a love hate relationship with our poop!! heres more thing to look at when staring at your poop.... 

Normal Frequency: Every day, one to three times per day. Occasionally, if you eat a lot of fiber containing foods, you might have a fourth bowel movement.
Normal Amount: Depends on your weight: you should produce about one ounce of poop for each 12 pounds of you body weight per day.

Not Normal:Every other day or even less frequent. If your poop stays in your intestines too long two things can happen: the body reabsorbs toxins that were supposed to be removed with your stool and pockets may form in your colon leading to diverticulosis.
Not Normal: More than 3 times per day. If your poop move through you too quickly, the body does not have time to absorb all the nutrients it needs.

Consistency, Shape & Smell:

Food and water intake make the consistency, shape and smell of your poop vary to some degree; some days your poop may be slightly firmer or smell stronger than on others. Having diarrhea for constipation for a day or two is no cause for alarm, your body may just be trying to get rid of something (diarrhea) or you may not have had enough fiber or water (constipation).  However, any prolonged, persistent abnormality in your stool consistency or shape should be discussed with your MD or a well-educated nutritionist. The same holds true for the smell of stool; though the smell of poop can be unpleasant, ongoing smells that are particularly strange or foul shouldn’t be ignored.

Normal: smooth texture, S-shape, like a snake, sinks slowly.

Not Normal:

• Pellets, marble-shaped, like bird or deer droppings, sinks very fast = constipation, can be an indicator of more serious diseases.
• Watery, shapeless = diarrhea, can be an indicator of food allergies, Crohn’s,IBS and more serious diseases such as certain cancers.
• Soft, floating stool that is difficult to flush = can be an indicator of too much fat in the stool and more serious diseases such as pancreatic problems.
• Mucus in the stool = can be an indicator of inflammation in the GI tract and more serious diseases such as Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis.
• Pencil thin = can be an indicator of polyps, IBS or more serious diseases such as colon cancer.
• Foul or strange smell = can be an indicator of too much fat or blood  in the stool and more serious diseases such as an infection.

for now I leave you with a picture of the mythical unicorn poop....

Thing 4???

Ok everyone IM PREGNANT! Now before I go on this rant of hating drs and wtf is going on let me just say somewhere deep inside im hoping it is a boy. Lets start from the beginning well I started the challenges as well as landing a job I love in october!! Oh yeah I was sooo happy I was making a good amount of money and planning to find a new place to live ect. Then I noticed I was getting more tired it was harder to workout. lifting at work was getting extremely hard and my stomach was killing me more than the usual crohnie pain. I had had issues with my birth control making me bleed and had switched to a diffrent one before all of this started and still I kept bleeding. Fast forward I am taking pregnancy text like mad wondering wtf is wrong there all negative but everyone around me knows im pregnant which is how it goes. My mom always misses periods and gets pregnancy cravings, puking ect when anyone close to her is pregnant. I went to the drs and they kept telling me I wasnt yet I had quit bleeding and was at the point of a break down because I couldnt figure it out something was off and we all knew it!! Finally we got it confirmed im pregnant well if you ask my family dr I am not pregnant! he seems to think that i need a blood test everyday to check the levels and all that. never going to him again! Now I sit wondering how far along I really am because we have no sure way of telling untill the first ultrasound. I have been through the hoops with drs and endless calls trying to get n and yesterday after calling my ob over and over again I finally get ahold of someone who actully looks at my file and sees that I am extremely high risk and sets me up for an appointment today. I am scared and worried and wondering how far along I am. I am tired of drs and there bs ive delt with alot because of drs not understanding crohns and not realizing that I actully know what im talking about when it comes to my body. I havent worked in a few weeks and I miss it, I miss my residents and miss being able to be there for the ones who dont have family to come see them. I went in the beginning of the week to get my check and got soo many hugs even more when I let them know I was expecting they want me back theere like an extended part of my family. I know that when I am there my job is to care for them and make sure they are alright and when I went in seeing there faces light up I knew I had been doing a good job and it hurts me knowing they miss me. but hopfully soon they will have me back on shift!! untill then I am focasing on my 3 little monsters and trying to make it through this pregnancy! this afternoon im hoping my ob will do an ultrasound so we can see how far along as for right now were estimating july 2014!!!

crohns meets christmas meals!!!

We all know it. we all say it. But when it comes down to it us crohnies cant help sometimes but to indulge in some good ol' nasty food!! yes you know what im talking about and we are all guilty of it at least a few times! So yesterday after opening gifts I should have headed home made a soup. damn anything but no I want to kids to enjoy this day and we head with the family to a buffet, feeding our family is a job theres just too many soo this is my moms answer to it! Who doesnt love a buffet righttt. I know I do in my pre crohnie days I coulda put away the whole thing and then some I could eat. But those thoughts of what I use to do get me in trouble! I was good well as about as good as a hog in a fresh mud pile, if you get what im saying. we waited in for what seemed like forever. come on guys we come there every holiday a party of 13 this time not that many we could have brought everyone.  so here we are at the table the kids excited to eat and hurry up to get sweets. Me and hubs go to get the kids plates while he is just worried about finding things they will eat( which isnt hard our kids have grown up around a lot of food diversity, and can put away some veggies) I am looking around finding foods I can eat. as soon as we give the kiddos there plates its on. bad momma is out and im coming for the food not thinking clealry at all about the fact that I am in a crohns flare or that I should eat but a small plate I fill up my plate not once not twice but three times, this all in less than 30 minutes. I enjoyed every bite and wills tick with that story. then can time to survey the sweets well the kids were having some soo why not righttt. big mistake i got a piece of carrot cake i remember eating that vividly because I was in shock at how good it was. Im a foodie so finding a gem like that it amazing. soon after I must have givin hubs that look. You know that look like omg I gotta poop/ fart ect. because he asked are you gunna fart. i told him flat out noo I gotta poop got up and walked across the resturant to the bathroom. I did this camly although i wanted to run like mad. So here I am waiting for a stall in soo much pain and finally one opens up and my nerves about going in public are gone because well this is the first time ever in public i walk into a bathroom and everyone is going poop. I didnt hold it back at all I was at ease. then I realized the other coughing and hurrying out fast! OMG really people I have crohns its ok for your stink to be in here but damn mine is too much really??!!!  Ok well I will admit I am bleeding and you know that rotting flesh smell you can sometimes get with having an attack is was quite bad. but at this point I cant stop so I sit there and finish up while mothers who bring in there kids hurry them up. I heard a poor little girl ask her mother what died i felt soo bad but again its not my fault. as I walk out I notice my family waiting at the exit and I am relieved not to have to sit there any longer. I get to leave!!!! Im not sure if they were done or if they knew what was going on but I was sooo happy!! I got my sweater and purse from my mom and took off out the door! by the time was made it home here I am in pain and feeling starved SOOO because I didnt get my heavenly hash on thanksgiving I made a small plate of it and took a couple bites before feeding the rest to thing two. my baby girl is my helper when it comes to getting my food away from me she is my go to girl! i spent the rest of my time at my parents laying in bed wishing I didnt eat. And wondering if maybe I could handle a salad. I know bad thoughts but I am only human and a salad sounds good. everyone else ate one but hubs, he wanted to but got lost in the sea of food while there. now here I am today feeling worse than the last few days. i know cleaning should be done but I am couch ridden. Every so often thing one comes up and ask me mommy are you ok??? with a big hug and as soon as I say I am he sighs and says yeah right liar. mind you he is 3 but he knows mommy is sick and he trys to take care of me. thing two likes to come up and kiss my forehead before saying she needs my blanket. all morning we have played this game where I give her my blanket thing one takes it from her covers me back up tucks me in and then he tells her she is bad. She dont care she does an evil laugh and comes back to get the blanket.

ITS FINALLY OVER!!

YES thats right im talking about the overly hallmarked holiday known as christmas. No im not a grinch I just dont really car for it. I dont get all the fuss over it at all. With that being said I made sure my children had a wonderful christmas even thought sunday ours is finally over i get a few days break from it . sunday we did ours here and the kids were in love they got soo many new toys " i.e feet killers" and they were set not even realizing that on christmas they were going to grandmas house! my dad got in this week and got to enjoy christmas with us all. i love the kids but i dont love how many new toys are all over our place becasue they cant deside on what they should play with. christmas day they were soo happy waking up to me and daddy telling telling them come on we gotta go to grandmas. Thats the key word grandmas and they hop to it. they enjoy going over there but throw fits when it is time to leave! we got there right as they puled back in perfect timing for little ones who cant resist opening whats under the tree!! bad grandma bought thins two makeup!! yes play makeup but I had been dreading her getting any of it. she is a messy child already that just helps it along faster!! but all in all they are good gifts that they all love! hubs still not use to holidays at my parents is thrilled to get one gift with his name on it!! he was soo happy with all his gifts they got him things he would have picked out himself. Now here I sit today with 3 monsters playing with everything in site. Little balls of energy when I can barely keep my eyes open! I want/need sleep but they wont budge they have desided that they can still go strong!!!! Now ive got to get back to my childrens endless questions and the smell of dirty diapers cause there is always one going poop!!! hope everyone had a wonderful christmas!!!

crohns medication and me

So I went threw i tiny bit of me having crohns and recieved a request to talk about my medications and diet. It worries me someone reading my diet and thinking oh well she does it so I could too. no this is at this point a disclaimer please do not take anything i write as medical advice. each person body is diffrent and everyone has diffrent triggers. I know mine well and know what I can and can not tolorate. I would say take your time and elarn yours and dont follow a fad crohns diet just becasue someone says it will work you know your body better than anyone else even your g.i, only you can say what can and can not work for it. it takes years to know yourself and all of your trigger but it is well worth it. with this being said i will write about my diet and do a part two for my medications!!

Ok so first off i have for straight point diet i can not have milk, anything spicey or with a lot of acid, nothing with a lot of fiber, no pork, beef very rarely, and most veggies are a no no! but i eat healthy im not perfect and some times i eat unhealthy food but mostly i eat very organic and natural i do canning with fresh local fruits and veggies so i can eat that way all year long i stay away from startches as much as i can. and processed foods. as well as fast food. it is a rare treat to eat out, or have some chips!!! i love boiled eggs they dont hurt me. i hate fish so that isnt happening at all yuck!! i try to eat as healthy as i can and watch how much i eat i try not to over eat but hey it happens I will be in some pain but feel better again and move forward. what helps is what I eat everyone in the house eats they have adopted a healthier eating habit and my kids will sit aorund and snack on fruits and veggies all day long. we do have quite a bit of fruits and veggies I cant eat here butthe rest of the family eating healthy makes me happy. they do get mcdonalds every so often I dont deny them what most of us what have grown up with. we simply choose to make it rare and show them that you can make a home cooked meal and it taste good without being frozen or in a box. and yes you can enjoy your food without it being smoothered in grease for every meatl. and it helps that our kids know how to eat healthy even at there young ages they are allowed to make decisions on what they eat and they make the right ones. they even know what I cant eat and will call me out if i am eating one of my triggers! they grew up with me sick it is a normal for them. they are allowed to be included in making some meals and thats what makes some meals better than others when they can help out or sit and watch us. we have adopted this clean eating life style and we love it! i know this isnt a cut and dry i eat this and not this. but the way we eat and prepare our food isnt cut and dry and me listing it out like that will not help anyone we are all indviduals and our body react diffrently!

here are some jams i made i love our jams i could eat them all day long and be just fine!

a smoked brisket with just picked greenbeans something about smoked meat it never hurt me!!!

I have Crohns!!

Ok so my blog is basically all over the place what I feel like talking about one minute is diffrent from the next. I have crohns I am well aware of what i suffer from and what other to be educated and maybe give some other crohnies someone to talk to, to relate to and know that they are not alone. Please feel free to comment message ask questions I am here to help if I can and if I can not I can direct you to who can!
 First off I wont go into full blow medical detail on this blog lets kinda ease into this and I will post a new crohnie blog weekly! I was diagnosed at 17 after numerous drs told my parents i was faking even after dropping down to 80 pounds and losing my hair unable to eat or drink this went on for months untill a wonderful er dr at baycity medical center saw and smelled something was wrong and  admitted me to find I suffer from crohns. I have since lived my life in severe pain and hunger and have learned to push beyond what i thought i couldnt to make my life what it is and to show my children they can do whatever they want! I hate crohns my body is my prison and I cant get away from it my daily life revolves around my medications and what I eat and what I do. I have had drs think I am out for pills because i express the amount of pain i am in i have tryed soo many home remedies that I have basically covered all herbal aspects that could help. I have considered witch doctors, snake healers, and everything in between. crohns is a life sentence and your stuck with it. I have had a fistula removal on each inner thigh leaving nasty scars. this is my life and it is a part of me like it or not. I stick in all aspects of the word when I am sick my bowels could give off enough funk to use in a gas chamber. isnt that nice right lol.

One day there will be a cure And on that day I will be the happiest I have ever been Untill then ponder what would your life be like if you knew you would spend the rest of it fighting with your own body??